The Half-Assed, Trillion Dollar Proposal

I see one of my Congresspeople, David Wu (D-OR1) is teaming up with a Yale law professor named Bruce Akerman to propose another Way Forward in Iraq. Far from the non-binding resolutions proposed by Congressman Wu’s dickless wonder-colleagues in the Senate, the two’s plan calls for an actual act of Congress…thought not one, it should be noted, that a majority in either House of Congress is willing to support, despite overwhelming evidence that the continued occupation of Iraq is quickly growing as unpopular at home as it has always been abroad.

So call the Wu/Akerman plan “starving the fire.” They call it the "Half-Trillion Dollar Solution." How about calling it the “just one more cigarette” solution. Basically (they write in the American Prospect) Congress will give Our Glorious Leader an ultimatum:

It is Congress's job to restore fiscal balance first, by placing an overall limit on Iraq war expenditures. Congress should limit this president to spending half a trillion dollars on the Iraq war -- and no more.... [T]he president would have no choice but to sign this ceiling to get short-term funding for his war.

You hear that? A half a trillion and no more. Just one more half trillion dollars and no more. Nada. Zip. That is it young man, no more. And when we go to the lake you are to have no dance party. God if I catch you in our wallet again I swear I will snatch the black right off of you.

How absurd it is that we are still debating this. How absurd that my Congressman actually believes Our Glorious Leader will do the sane, rational thing and Bring the Boys Back Home before the money runs out. Because if there’s one man in this country known for sanity and reason his name is George W. Bush.

The Iraq War (I still prefer the Daily Show’s “Mess o’potamia”) will go down in history as the first Ignored War of the twenty-first century. It might as well be taking place on the moon for all the effect it’s had on America’s national shameless march into obese, drug dependent, indolence and work-related injuries. I swear…never has living in an imperialistic superpower felt so…disappointed. We’ve reaped no rewards from this fiasco, and done horrible evil to a people most of us refuse to believe exist. No destiny manifested itself in the Iraqi’s sands; we’re carving that out now with blood and ammo. There are no gods left on our side (unless you count Pat Robertson’s) and we can all see what’s going on for ourselves if only we are willing to look, read and listen. The Iraq War will also go down in history as one of the best documented bits of blood shed in history.

Yet we still manage to go through our day. The peace protests have dwindled, the marchers have dispersed, the glass windows remain unbroken and most of us are just trying to get through the day. War is…gross. It’s hard to watch. It’s harder to go through, after all…part of the reason we’re here and not over there, enjoying the triple digit heat and the roving hoards of bullets.

More likely Our Glorious Leader will decide to let the troops stay right where they are. He’s already hinted that “finishing the job” will be the work of a President who’s name isn’t his. Perhaps he plans to leave the whole damn thing to Jeb, a final Frat prank from older brother to younger. In any case, don’t believe for a second he values the lives of “our troops.” He won’t hesitate to led their funding dry up and leave them stranded in hostile territory, their equipment falling apart, their meals riddled with parasites. As if he’s the first President to leave them so for short-sighted political gain. He’ll probably turn right around and shout, “You see? Those damn Democrats tied my hands. They left our troops balls up in the war zone before the job was done. So remember…vote Republican come November.” After all, he is still George W. Bush, and he still approves his own messages.