I Am Jack's Peanut Gallery

I take issue with a great deal of what JA Koranth says. He’s the author of books I’ve never read, staring a hard-bitten female police detective with the very…intriguing name of “Jack” Daniels.

A Freudian psychologist would have a field day with Mr. Koranth and that handful of facts, but this particular wordslinger is not slouch, True Believer. No, he’s just completed a 50 day, continental book tour on his own frickin’ dime. Beat that shit with a stick, homes. What we have here is a king of self-promotion.

The details of said book tour are available to those of us who work during the day on Mr. Koranth’s (award winning) blog, which certainly puts this one to shame. Even if it begins by revealing one of my issues.

(The Scene: Our Hero is introducing himself to the poor schmuck behind the Customer Service counter at your local Corporation Bookstore)

JA: Hi. My name is JA Konrath, and I'm a Hyperion author on a national tour promoting my third hardcover, RUSTY NAIL. Thanks for carrying my books.

Bookseller: Thanks for coming by. Would you like to speak to a manager?

JA: If one is available, I'd love to say hello.

Did you catch it? Were you a faithful reader you would know me well enough by now to know exactly what in the above makes my spider-sense tingle.

Hyperion is a moon of Saturn known for is spongy, pocked-marked surface, a painting by Friedrich Hölderlin (above, left) and (among other things) a book publishing division of the Disney Corporation, founded in 1991. Their sparse website proudly reminds me they have published John Stossel’s Myths Lies and Outright Stupidity. Not surprising, considering Disney’s ownership of ABC and, thus, John.

“Jack” Daniels, as well. Or, at present, her first three adventures. Number four is on the way. We’ll see how Mr. Koranth does, or how long he self-identifies with such a massive corporate edifice.

Thankfully, Mr. Koranth consistently chalks his success right up to his own Herculean efforts, which are well worth close study by all who are serious about the business of twenty-first century writing. As with so much else, working your ass off appears to lead to success. I read his blog with the feeling I am listening to a wizened Kung Fu master, despite JA’s relative youth. You’re not old until they begin to print your full name on your books.